


That's Not What My Shadows Tell Me

by ArtistAndAuthor



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Elain Archeron/Azriel Fluff, Elain/Azriel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Smut, My First Smut, POV Elain Archeron, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtistAndAuthor/pseuds/ArtistAndAuthor
Summary: Elain is trying desperately to remain present at the small gathering with her friends, but no matter how hard she tries her mind keeps wandering to the Shadowsinger sitting across the room. She knows she needs to get control of her thoughts and the heat coursing through her body before her scent betrays her. She hopes stepping away from the celebration will give her some time to gather herself, but when Azriel comes to check on her, she knows she can't hide it any longer, and she doesn't want to.
Relationships: Elain Archeron & Azriel, Elain Archeron/Azriel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	That's Not What My Shadows Tell Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic. I hope you all enjoy and hopefully, there will be more to come.

The fire crackles in the hearth as I stare into the dancing flames, trying to focus on anything other than the cursed images plaguing my mind. Thoughts of Azriel pinning me against a wall, his hands on my hips, his lips pressing into mine.  
The howl of laughter behind me startles me from my thoughts. Feyre and Cassian are nearly doubled over on the couch, grins stretching across their faces, their drinks sloshing dangerously around in their glasses as they lose themselves in their mirth. Mor shrieks with glee as Cassian falls completely to the floor in his drunken state. Rys just shakes his head at the two of them, taking another sip of his wine with a smirk. I wasn’t paying attention to what happened, but I let a smile pull at my lips anyway. I suppose it doesn’t matter what was said. They’re all so incredibly drunk that probably even the smallest thing could set them into a giggle fit like this. I haven’t really been in the mood to let go of my inhabitions completely and drink the night away, afraid of what I might say or do should I let myself get in the same state they are. But I’ll let them enjoy their revelry without my silent pining ruining the fun. I spare a glance at the Shadowsinger lounging across from them in the corner, noticing he is also choosing not to lose himself to the wine this evening, his glass still sitting nearly full on the table beside him. As if my attention called to him his hazel eyes flick towards me. I quickly drop my gaze to the wine glass in my hand. I haven’t really been drinking it at all, but now I stare at the contents as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. I can feel my cheeks flushing hot and pray to the mother that he’s already turned his attention back to the giggling drunks across from him.  
I curse myself for how flustered that one glance makes me feel. I shouldn’t be feeling this way towards him, but no matter how much I’ve tried to give it a chance, Lucien has never made me feel like this. I shake my head away from that thought, throwing back the remaining wine in my glass. I don’t want to think of him right now. I willingly let my mind drift back to the Shadowsinger. I imagine what it would be like for him to sweep me away in his shadows, to have the world and its expectations fade away until it’s just us in the darkness, our hands roaming, gripping, feeling each other. Heat pools in my core and I grit my teeth trying to remain present. The last thing I need is for the entire room to scent how hot and bothered I am. Of their own volition, my eyes drift towards Azriel. My breath hitches as I find him peering up at me through his lashes. His shadows dance around him, undoubtedly whispering things in his ears. I wonder how much they can actually pick up. A small smirk pulls at that beautiful mouth and my heart does a summersault in my chest.  
I rise from my chair and make up some excuse about getting a snack as I rush from the room. I don’t bother to see if they care. I just need to get out of there before my scent betrays me to everyone. Though it might already be too late for that, hopefully, they’re too lost in their drunken antics to notice, or at least care. My feet make their way to the kitchen. I take a deep breath to steady myself, scrubbing my hands over my face. What the hell is wrong with me? Get a grip Elain.  
After a few more steadying breaths I head over to the cupboard looking for something to back my excuse to leave. Maybe I should’ve just dismissed myself for the evening, then I could at least take care of myself in private. I sigh and resign myself to sitting through at least a few more minutes of this torture. I can make it through that.  
“Are you alright, Elain?” His voice catches me off guard and I jump, knocking a bag of flour off of the shelf. Az catches it in the air, then reaches past me to place it back where it belongs. I wonder if he can hear the pounding of my heart. “Apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He says with an amused smile.  
“It’s alright.” I manage with a small smile in return, though everything within me is urging me to press my lips to that stupidly beautiful smirk, “I’m fine.”  
“That’s not what my shadows tell me.” He says softly. His voice is gruff and warm, and I could swear I heard something underlying in his tone. I wonder again exactly how much his shadows know, “If there’s something I can help you with all you have to do is ask.”  
My hands clench in the skirts of my dress, itching to touch him, to pull him close. I’d let him take me against this damn cabinet if he wanted. The beautiful images play over in my mind, the way his hands would roam so freely over my every curve. I blink myself back to reality to see Az staring down at me, waiting for an answer, “I don’t know that you can help me with this.” I breathe, regretting the words as soon as they leave my lips. He’ll only pry more. He’s too kind to let it go if he knows something is truly bothering me. Besides, what I said is a lie. He’s the only one that can help me with this.  
He takes a step closer and somehow my heart pounds even faster. His fingers graze against my arm. They’re warm and calloused and I immediately want to know how they feel touching other parts of my body. I swallow, trying to remember to breathe. He crooks a finger beneath my chin, gently urging me to meet his gaze, “My shadows are useful, Elain. They tell me many things, but unless you say it aloud, I can’t know for certain.”  
I stare into those hazel eyes, searching. He holds my gaze and I sense a shift in him as I let that leash slip just a little, let myself lean just a bit closer. The hunger I sense coming from him stirs something primal inside me. And I can hardly believe myself as I say aloud, “I want you to take me, Azriel.”  
He closes the distance between us. His lips crash into mine, as though he’s been waiting as long as I have to feel this. His arm slides around my waist as the other cups my cheek. I melt into his touch and let myself give into these daydreams that have tortured me for so long. He grazes his thumb across my lip, as his tongue brushes between my parted mouth. I open for him. His tongue slips in and mine is there to meet him, dying to know the taste of him. My hands grip the fabric of his shirts, begging for him to stay like this. But he pulls back for just a moment, “Would you let me take you somewhere a little more private than this kitchen?” He asks, gravel in his voice.  
“Yes.” I breathe, pulling him back down to me. His lips stay on mine as he scoops me into his arms. I feel a soft caress against my skin as his shadows envelop us.  
A brisk wind blows through my hair and I pull back and find we’re hovering before the House of Wind. He flies us towards an unfamiliar balcony. My arms tighten around his neck out of instinct as we descend. A glance through the archway reveals a massive bed taking up most of the space of the room. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as it settles on me what’s about to happen between us.  
Azriel carries me in through the arch and sets me on my feet. My blood pounds in my veins as I turn back to look at him. His arm wraps around my waist again, softer than before. His eyes roam over my face, seemingly searching for something. I bring my hand to rest on his cheek brushing my thumb over the stubble lightly pricking my skin. My heart swells as he leans into my touch, then turns his head to kiss my palm. His eyes roam back to mine, “Are you certain this is what you want?” He asks.  
I rise on my toes and brush my lips against his, “I’ve never wanted anything more.” I admit.  
Without any more hesitation, he pulls me against him. The kiss he gives me is full of hunger. It makes my head swim, to taste him, to feel him. I let him guide me backward until my back hits a wall. As his hands grip my waist I find it feels so much better than I’d imagined. They roam upwards, cupping the swell of my breasts. And then I feel his fingers undoing the buttons of my dress. My skin feels so hot. I’ve never in my life wanted to be rid of my clothes so badly.  
He aids in guiding the fabric from my shoulders. It pools around my feet. His lips trail open-mouthed kisses along my jaw, down my neck, across my collar bone. My hands tangle in his hair, reveling in the way he palms my breast with one hand as the other grips my ass. He makes his way back to my lips and I find my leg wrapping around his waist, pulling him flush against me. The full length of him pressed into me pulls a small gasp from my lips. I feel Azriel smile against my mouth and then he shifts his hips forward, grinding against me. The pleasure of that sweet friction has me throwing my head back against the wall. Az takes full advantage of my exposed neck, nipping at my skin as he thrusts again and again.  
It’s not fair that I’m so bare before him and he has yet to shed a bit of clothing. My hands pull at his shirt. I want to feel his bare skin against mine. I need it. He leans back enough to pull it over his head, some magic or another making it so it didn't catch on those glorious wings. Without any second-guessing I graze my fingers across the top edge of his wings, gently caressing the tips as I reach the talons. He presses his forehead against mine as a sharp hiss leaves his lips before a low moan rumbles through him. In one swift movement, he has my wrists pinned above my head. He glares down at me with such raging desire it makes my breath catch, “I want to take my time with you, Elain.” His voice is rough, almost a growl, “And if you keep touching me like that, I don’t think I’ll be able to do all I want with you.”  
I simply nod, unable to speak at seeing him like this, almost feral with that small touch. He looks me over, glances at my hands pinned above my head. He shifts so that he has them both in one hand, the other now loose to do whatever he wants. That aching need surges within me, to have him touch me. He watches me as his fingers blaze a trail between my breast, down my stomach. They graze along the hem of my panties. My back arches, pleading for him to stop teasing, “Please, Azriel.” I beg him.  
Giving in, his hand slides against my skin, all the way to my aching core. A small gasp leaves my lips as his fingers slide between my folds. A growl rumbles through him when he feels how much I’ve been wanting him. His thumb begins circling over my clit and I bite my lip, suppressing the moans wanting to escape me. He leans in, his breath caressing my skin as he says, “We’re alone Elain. Don’t you dare hold back those beautiful sounds.”  
His finger dips inside me and begins pumping a delicious rhythm. I let the soft moan leave my lips, and he kisses me in approval. My head falls back against the wall again as the pleasure builds within me. My hands tug against his hold, wanting to wrap my arms around him, but he tightens his grip there as another finger dips inside me. I don’t stop myself this time as a loud moan erupts past my lips. Azriel’s pace picks up and my breathing comes in short pleading pants as the pleasure builds and I feel myself climbing towards climax. My legs tremble as he continues to strike that spot over and over. My hips grind against his hand as I become desperate for release. I can feel myself standing on the edge. His name falls from my lips and I tumble over the edge, coming undone beneath his touch. He continues pumping his fingers through my orgasm, stretching out my high.  
He slowly slips his fingers out of me and I watch as he takes them in his mouth, closing his eyes as he savors the taste of me. He releases my hands and I manage to stand on shaky legs. I lean into him, pressing my mouth to his. I taste the tang of myself on him. Feminine pride swells within me, knowing that I’m on his lips. I rake my fingers through his hair. In one swift movement, he bends down, gripping my ass and hoisting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he turns and carries me to the bed.  
He tosses me lightly onto the mattress and I take him in as he stands above me, his wings outstretched, shadows swirling fervently around him. He’s breathtaking. I watch with bated breath as he undoes his belt, his buttons and discards his pants on the floor. Taking him in in his full glory awakens that primal need within me. I’m about ready to pounce when he comes crawling over me. His arm slides beneath my waist, hauling me further up onto the bed.  
My hips rise to meet him as he slips my panties off, discarding them somewhere behind him. Then he settles himself between my legs. My breath hitches at the contact of skin on skin. The feeling of his weight on top of me, the heat of his skin warming mine, is enough to pull another moan from my lips. I want this forever. I want him forever, in whatever way he’ll let me have him. I need him. That desire swells in my chest, sends a new ache surging through me. I take his face between my hands and kiss him with reckless abandon. He meets my lips eagerly.  
His hips shift against me, creating tantalizing friction, but not yet giving me what I desperately need from him. I don’t mind this sort of torture though. His hands slide down my body to my thigh, pulling my leg up to wrap around him as he continues grinding against me. My hands shift up to his shoulders, nails gently biting into his skin. His mouth leaves mine, nipping at the skin on my neck, undoubtedly leaving his mark behind. The thought pulls a smile to my lips. I want to be his. I want everyone to know that he chose me, that I choose him. I guide his face back to mine, kissing his mouth before trailing my lips down his neck. His grip tightens on my hair as I begin nipping and sucking until I’m certain I’ve left a beautiful bruise behind. The moan this pulls from him ignites a fire in me. I need more of it. I want to be lost in it.  
“Azriel.” I breathe his name, a supplication.  
Those hazel eyes meet mine, and again I am taken back by his beauty. I let my desire show in my eyes and I know he understands as he shifts and aligns himself with my entrance. I hold tight to his shoulders as he slowly sheaths himself inside of me, letting me adjust to the length of him. The moans that leave me are breathy and light as he fills me completely. I clench around him, wanting to savor the feel of him, how we fit so perfectly together. A curse tumbles from his lips and he kisses me as he pulls back slowly and then thrust again. A gasp leaves my lips as he strikes that sensitive area within me. He doesn’t stop, pulling back and thrusting again. Again. Again. Again.  
I can hardly catch my breath as Azriel settles into a gentle rhythm, pumping into me. One strong hand grips my hip, the other is tangling in the sheets by my head. I lean into him, pressing my breasts into his chest, wanting every point of contact I can have. My fingers clutch the strong powerful muscles of his back, holding on as he takes me, a never-ending procession of moans leaving my lips with every thrust. The sensation builds within me again. I clench around him, pulling out every bit of pleasure that I can. Azriel doesn’t hold back either, indulging himself through the rhythm.  
He secures his grasp on my waist and thrusts a little harder, a little faster. My hands slide to his hips, asking for more, my back arching against the mattress. He kisses me hard. My grip on him tightens and a moan rumbles through his chest. I nip at his bottom lip, taking it lightly between my teeth before letting go and plunging my tongue into his mouth. He moans against my mouth and slides his arm under my waist. Shadows caress my skin and I find myself at the edge of the mattress. Azriel rises to stand on the floor before me. He grips me behind the thighs and pulls me even closer to the edge until we are perfectly aligned again. He keeps his grasp as he plunges back inside me. He picks up that hastened rhythm, gripping my thighs as he rocks into me. My hands latch onto the edge of the mattress, holding on as Azriel fucks me. I no longer have any control of the sounds leaving me. And I couldn’t care less. I am fully lost in him. I can only watch in awe at this glorious sight, Azriel the Shadowsinger, wings outstretched, muscles flexed as he holds me to him, brows furrowed, jaw set, biting his lip as he puts all his concentration into fucking the life out of me.  
All of it sends me careening towards that edge again. My head falls back onto the mattress as I once again come undone before him, shattering completely as a curse leaves my lips, his name tumbling after. Despite myself, tears prick my eyes, my emotions coming undone as I do. As I clench around him my name falls from his lips as he finds his climax within me, his cock thrumming with the release of his pleasure. It pulls me gently through my high as a tear slips down my cheek and onto the mattress. I don’t want him to think he hurt me, but I can’t stop the soft flow of tears as my orgasm crashes through me in waves, settling within me.  
Azriel is slow to pull out of me, gentle now having fucked me so thoroughly. He leans down, wrapping his arms around me and placing a soft kiss to my lips as shadows descend around us. And then we’re laying at the top of the bed again. He leans his forehead against mine, pressing a featherlight kiss to the tip of my nose before he breathes, “You are incredible, Elain.”  
He brushes the tears from my cheek with his thumb. I take a shuddering breath, “I’m fine.” I assure him at the look of concern that flashes in his eyes. A chuckle pushes through my chest, “I don’t even know why this is happening.” I say gesturing to the tears, quickly wiping my face dry.  
A small smile pulls at his lips and he pulls me in closer, kissing my cheeks, “As long as I didn’t hurt you…”  
“Not at all,” I say, shushing him with a kiss. I linger there, pressing myself into him, my leg again sliding up around his waist. His hand roams down my back and I feel a gentle brush against my shoulder. I pull back to see that he’s wrapped his wings around us, encasing us in our own little world. I find myself entranced by the way the moonlight plays purple through the wing stretched above me. I reach out and brush my fingers down the soft membrane, “I didn’t even get to play with these.” I murmur, feeling a shudder run through him as a soft moan slips past his lips.  
“Don’t worry, you’ll have your chance.” He says, breath caressing my cheek with the promise. My heart swells in my chest, at the prospect that at least this wasn’t a one-time thing, that perhaps it might be more for him too. I can feel the tears starting to return and I swallow them down, “Elain?” he asks softly.  
“I’m fine,” I say quickly, shoving my feelings down. If nothing else, I have this night. And maybe another.  
“That’s not what my shadows tell me.” He says again. I turn my head back to him. And even through the darkness, those eyes send butterflies soaring through my stomach. A heartbeat of silence passes between us before he says more, “You mean more to me than that, Elain. I- I should’ve taken a moment to clarify before we got caught up in everything.” He seems to be stealing himself a moment before continuing, and I wait, “I like you Elain. I like you a lot. I didn’t want to hold you back from your mate, but my shadows kept whispering to me and I had to know the truth. If this is all you want from me then-“  
I cut him off, pressing my mouth to his, softly, moving my lips to convey every intent I have for us. Perfect happiness fills me so thoroughly I can’t contain myself. I want him to know that I am his, now and forever. I choose him. I bring my hand to his cheek, my thumb brushes something wet. I wipe away the tear and place a gentle kiss where it was. I pull back and our eyes meet. And though I hope he figured out through my actions, I still say it aloud, “I’m yours, Azriel. If you want me, I’m yours.”  
He sucks in a sharp breath, swallowing down the emotions even though another tear slips free. He pulls me back to him, our lips colliding as we revel in this newfound happiness. He presses me to him and I don’t object as he again settles himself between my legs. He’s mine. Azriel is mine and I am his. Tonight is the start of our forever, and so I won’t object to letting ourselves indulge in each other until the sun rises, and perhaps even more after that.


End file.
